Lol what weird competition. But think about the fact that people might not be bothered to write a story just for this... oh well I might write a short one anyway.

The air freshner can was rolling down toilet lane when he spotted the mean neighbourhood bully his name his 'im a piece of crap, literally' and so 'im a piece of crap, literally' spotted air freshner and started to drag himself along toilet lane and air freshner can tried to roll away as fast as possible but he couldn't roll up the toiley slope and so air freshner tried to threaten 'im a piece of crap, literally' by saying I'll spray you! But 'im a piece of crap, literally' wasn't threatened by that because he was a piece of crap not a smell so 'im a piece of crap jumped on top of air freshner and said sweet dreams and then drowned air freshner in his crap.

The End?

Also then a dog came along and ate 'im a piece of crap, literally'.

The End... again.

heres my attempt (ill hardcore it up a bit):

decan the donkey was about to enter his home after a long day of work when a strange little creature next to the door called his name. decan had no friends and lived alone thats why, starving for social interaction, he immediately tried to get in contact with that being. turning his head in the proper direction it was not there anymore but decan now heard the thing calling his name from a little further away, so decan began to walk after the creature. when he seemed to be close enough to spot it again, it already continued moving away a little bit more. this continued for quite some time but decan had nothing else to do as he was a loser and besides, the voice of the little creature touched something deep inside his soul. eventually, after an hour or two of striving off into the woods next to decans home, he arrived at a glade inmidst the forest. the calling voice seemed to get louder and louder as decan proceeded, suddenly fading away when decan reached the center of the glade. it was then when decan recognized he was lured to this place by one certain being, just for one certain purpose- he felt his blood running cold as suddenly one certain thought striked his mind like a lightning: omg- its a sex beast. but it was already too late to escape because immediately after that an enormous cock ripped into his head with tremendous power, splitting it in two halfs and fucking each to a slow and painful death. and decan shalt never was to be have seen again...

(C) shmg suckers

OMFG! A-A-A-A-A-ANOTHER STORY!

A piece of crap travelled to New York and climbed the Empire State Building, the piece of crap then fell of the building and while it was falling it said 'now I'm going to heaven! Wait... crap doesn't go to heaven! OH SH-' and so the piece of crap kept falling and splat on the footpath and a man stepped on the piece od\f crap and said 'oh great my new shoes!'

And so the piece of crap splat on the ground and died... but then came back again by coming out of someone's ass! W00T!

The End?

Yes, I do like crap :D

Anyway I am advertising your weird story competition story on my page, I want more people to participate in it because I think it's a great idea.

Warning:
The following scetch contains what many consider to be very offensive material. This sketch is intended for adult audiences only
Actually, most adults will consider this offensive, too.
So I guess everybody's pretty much screwed.

Bottom line:the goal was not to offend anybody in particular.
It was ment to offend EVERYBODY

So don't say I didn't warn ya.

It's just a role, I'm a dad in this story!

So it starts off with me, my wife and my two adorable children, Jason and Melissa
We're sitting on a stage at a table, where we're drinking herbal tea and eating biscs with jam and bread.
I set my glass down, and I'm looking at my youngest child, Melissa, and I ask her if she knew what happened to the car this morning.
Melissa looks up to me and says Noooooooooo, In the most adorable way she can, it's absolutely precious.
I give her a look and I say: "Now Melissa, I know you got in the car and turned the emergency break off, why else would the car crashed into the car this morning?
Everybody laughs and have a good little giggle.
And then Melissa looks up at me and says: "Well I'm sorry daddy, I feel really bad. But I have 39 cents in my piggybag and I'm willing to pay back for every single cent I can!
The audience ofcourse roars with laughter and applause, everybody's cheering my little girl. Maybe, just maybe they start throwing a few roses on the stage, we don't know, a thing we can't say.
And then, being the humble father I am, I take out my knife and I slit her troath.
Now naturally, there will be a lot of blood spilling on the floor and everything, but don't worry, I cover the stage with a stain resistent carpage so nothing will get too dirty.
As you can imagine, my wife and son are a little bit shocked by all this, so they get up and they are trying to run off the stage.
But, I release the 2 trained dobermans, who rush across the stage and bite their little legs off.
They fall to the ground, yelling and screeming, my youngest child is bleeding to death in the corner.
But then, and here's the best part, I trained the dogs so they can actually rape their victims!
So they turn my wife and son over and start doing them doggystyle, no pun intended.
And then, In a very well thought out set up, they actually get in a 3 way fuckline.
My wife is getting force raped by the dog, The dog is getting force raped by my son.
My son is getting force raped by the other dog. And the other dog is getting force raped by none other then Richard Attenborough.
The crowd goes nuts to see Richard Attenborough in a childrens piece.
And then they start circling around the stage, assfucking eachother singing the classicall words of
Gilgbert Solloman

When that's going on, I take my daughter, who's most likely dead at this point, that is to say if slittingg her troath doesn't do it, surely besides that my wife and son getting raped by two dobermans and Richard Attenborough should do the trick.
And I stick my hand up her ass!
I manoeuvre it around a little bit.
And all of sudden, We have ourselfs a good old-fashioned puppet show!
After that I say the secret word hobscotch.
That's the que for the dogs to start shitting like crazy!
And it goes everywhere!
On the stage, on the curtains, on the dogs, on the actors, on Richard Attenborough!
And so I take the corpse of my dead daughter and I shove her face into it
I take some and I put it on my face too.
And suddenly , we have ourselfs a missdrall show!
Hey meme, what you do last night?
I got shitfaced, hahahahahaha.
Finally, I get out 2 butcher knifes, I give 1 to my wife, and the other I put at my wife's troath.
And I demand her to chop off the head of her own son.
Now she'll say: " Nooo, I won't be able too" but trust me , she will.
Because Richard Attenborough is gonna be there forcing his dick in my boys troath.
And I'm gonna say to her, Isn't death the only sensable thing right now?
She's humbly procee to chop his head off, and I take the knife I have in my hand, proceed to chop her head off.

By the way, Did I mention I could only do this once?

And then proceed to chop the head off my shit stained rotting little girl.
So me and Richard Attenborough take all the separate heads, go to opposite sides of the stage.
And we start juggling them back and forth!
As that starts to wear thin, he walks over to my side of the stage.
While still juggling, mind you.
Bends down, and let's me start assfucking him!
And let me tell you, this is a talented man, not only does he haves to get his pants down, bend over and get's ass raped by me.
But he also haves to juggle the heads of my diseased family.
I've gotta tell you, that's showmanship.
After that, we start fucking the decapitate bodys, and also making out with the seperated heads.
I know what you're thinking, If I'm making love with my corpse, and Richard Attenborough is making love to my son.
Who's making love to my daughters corpse?
Well, remember the two dobermans I've mentioned before?
One of them goes over and starts making love to the dead body, while the other one goes over and starts making out with the decapitated head.
And here's the kicker, he's not really making out with her, he's just chewing her face off..
Hahahahahahaha, classic

And then, just when you think it's gonna end, Jezus Christ, our lord and saviour, walks into the room.
He looks at all the distruction, the blood, the gore, the seiman, the fecies, and he says: "stop this mindless violence".
And he picks up the lifeless body off my little girl.
Put his sweet, delicate hand around her back.
Turns her around.
AND HE STARTS FUCKING HER IN THE ASS.

So you got Jezus fucking my daughter, me fucking my wife and Richard Attenborough fucking my son, while. The survivors of the holocaust come dancing in, holding up a manoura of the staff of flaming penises, singing a disco version of haba nagilua hava, played by a violing Hitler!

Don't say I didn't warned ya!

I'm promoting your weird story competition even more, I put the message in bold on my page! I KNOW!

hi there peoples! i gave birth to a child of my mind on dools page(a story) to promote it somewhat! so i decided to add it here! so here it is (this is not a participating story)

Once upon a time you had me(super-pineapple) Dools, a random homicidal homeless guy, and a mutated cactus boy. So we saw each other in the greenish shopping mall and there random homicidal homeles guy said: boy i wish i wasnt a random homicidal homeless guy.... gee random homicidal homeless guy live sure is hard sometimes.... especialy yours:P...then super-pineapple came in and said: OMG YOU GUYS I JUST SAW A GIANT HOMOSEXUAL DUCK! All the others wanted to took a look but super-pineapple stopped them and said: you shouldnt go there he has a friggin gay ray man! it will turn you gay! D: i dont want to be gay! said mutated cactus boy. Who are you? said random homicidal homeless guy. Ah whatever*slits his green spiky throat*. anyone cactus juice? So as they drank cactus juice they saw the homosexual duck humping all the buildings in town....until... it started to rape the greenish shopping mall! OMG WHAT DO WE NEED TO DO! said random guy who only says one thing n.1. Dools had a great idea! he got some of mutated cactus boy spikes from his corps and put them into pineapples at the fruit bar...tada! nail bombs! So Dools told Super-pineapple to pop in his pineapplenade-launchher and shoot at the duck his 2nd penis!(located behind his left eye) So he shot a lot of stuff but not only pineapple nail bombs! he also shot: an old doll they found 2 months earlier, a ball of dead moths( stink bomb:P) some radio active turtles, a World of Warcraft The Burning Crusade collecters edition box, a chunk of purple wood, chipped warlus tooth, vampire heads, rat poop, car seats, heathrow airport, a fat german teacher, the companion cube, a cube made out of sunflowers, bill gates his wife, a lobster with extra ashes from a burned towel, a gnome, the pope his right hand, Will Smith's sweater, a cup of tea(including an english man!), a hooker(random homicidal homeless guy:wait dont shoot that one away!), half of ng headquarters, happi faic, cacoa beans, police officer statue made out of angry sreaming german kids, a lebian tigress, an old chippendale hat, a dutch program presentator, a bag full of lego, a staircase, some drawers made out of giraffes, an amphibian horse O_o, some packages of apple juice, toxic mammals, and little baby jesus. and then the homosexual duck was dead! JEEY ^^!....

so yeah peoples plz try to write an amazing story for me try to make it even more random then the one above! or moar violent! if possible..dont worry you can do it!

Once upon a time there was a guy who went to a weird story competition. He had a lot of trouble trying to come up with a weird story so he ate 4 kittens. After he ate the kittens he decided to read to help him think of a story. While he was reading his house blew up. :)
THE END

I'm participating.

Well once A-pon A time there was a vegitarian who had several ears on her stomach he believed he was a banana muffin but he turned into a bottle of crap that he drank seeral hours later, than his best friend the rectal buddy had a cheese muffin which was not good and we all died ecause of a giant penus

true sory btw

[the following is a documentary of location #A559WC2, a lone cave ontop of a mountain in the deep depths of antarctica. there were two broken corpses of what appears to be dragons at the mouth of the cave, and a smaller dragon hidden in the cracks of the cave, that appears to have been frozen in the cold of the cave. normally dragons tend to sleep close with eachother to stay warm, this one must have died alone. what follows are the supposed markings left by one of them.

I am a baby dragon. I havent learned to breathe fire yet, nor can i fly. my parents were mauled to death by a horde of frost monarchs at the end of our cave while they were about to search for fresh wolf meat for me and my brothers. only my brother rancor, the oldest, can breathe fire, but its not enough to slay something for us to eat. cold and afraid, we laid there. we never forgot the day we watched our parents fly away, and were quickly dragged down to the ground by the frigid giants. we could only stay back and watch as they pierced theyre skin with theyre sharpened cold arms. my father tried to fight back, he clawed at them, he engulfed them with fire, but there were too many. he would melt away one, but the two more would crawl out of the snowy ground. me and our brothers tucked away in the cragged walls of our cave, and we wailed at the sounds of our roaring parents in pain. they didnt stand a chance, and when the roaring stopped, we looked back to find our parents, mained, battered, and broken. flesh was ripped across theyre sides where the monarchs grabbed hold of them before they could leave the mountain. everything was sad and quiet. none of us spoke to eachother. two of them hauled off our parents across the ground, and past our view. there were still some that remained, and they tucked thereselves away back into the snow waiting for another victim. they must have did this while we were asleep the night before, otherwise my mom and dad might have stood a chance. however, we are forced to stay in hiding, or we will suffer the same death as our parents. each of them was atleast about as tall as 12 feet and was strong enough to crack a rock in half with one blow of theyre sharpened limbs. we didnt even consider trying to speeding past theyre trap, if they had even grazed us we would lose our balance and crash. with no food, we are beggining to starve. our parents gone, and being trapped in our cave, we have nothing to resort to. rancor grew more and more anxious to get revenge. the littlest brother, garoth, is dieing. his scales are starting to peel off from the cold and malnourishment. his wings are deteriorating, they have turned black and his bones brittle. it pains him to extend them. its been days of starvation and suffering, without a single budge in the snow. we still cant tell if the monarchs are waiting for us, but if we stay we will surely die. its time to fight for freedom, our parents, and for garoth. even with food, he hasnt moved for nearly a week, hasnt eaten, his muscles have given up on him. we have to abandon him now.. and i have to abandon my diary. rancor and i will fight to the death to get what we deserve - revenge. we know our chances are next to nothing, but its the only option we got. if this is where this diary ends, it means i have died in the battle between the monarchs. if there is another dragon out there, who can read these encryptions, please retell my story, so that even if we go extinct, our imprint on the world will live on. for now, rancor and i will fight for survival.]

Ok none if this is mine, all credit goes to my freind des on msn. he has weird imagination and i told him about this little thing and so he gave me this. i just copyed and pasted it but he just wants some feedback so tell me what you think. he's kinda sensitive so go easy xD. ill copy your response and give it to em next time he gets on.

this is best mystery
once oppon a time there was a door. the end but the mystery is what kind of dorr OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

Umm, i'll see if i can find some of my weird stories from years ago.

Once upon a time there was a guy who went to a weird story competition.
[CONTINUED] ..

He entered the new grounds he came upon, and took a long look around him. As he scanned the horizon, something caught his eye. It was a muffin stand!
He then strutted on over to the muffin stand cuz, you know, it was cool. After reluctantly handing over a whopping 75 cents to the ecstatic seller, he indulged in the baked beauty he held in his hands.
Approximately 5 seconds later he was wiping the crumbs off his face with the back of his sleeve. Mm, tasty!
Approximately 10 seconds later he was on the ground, dead.
The end.

*The moral is to never buy cyanide-injected muffins from suspiciously ecstatic muffin vendors!

once there was a guy named phil james mcbobby robinson and he lived in the artic with his two dogs: corge (a poodle) and poodle (who was a corge). they live in a small house that was two metres long by 3.8 metres wide. This house had a kitchen, 4 bathrooms (one for each dog) and a very long corridor. oh and did i mention that they were 0.14 metres tall. ya that's all i have...

Hey! What did I say? I knew I would get more people involved in this!

I'm glad you liked it XD

Once.... There was only darkness... The weird thing is... That it was yesterday... I didn't see anything, I didn't feel anything... And Dr. Phils voice was getting louder and louder... It was cracking me up, I started becoming neurotic, I wiggled back and forth, back and forth... And Dr. Phils voice came closer and closer, but it never seem to stop, until I felt icecold air moving into the air, I realised I was falling! I looked down and saw a colory dot getting bigger and bigger... And I prepared myself on a big fall. But when I hit the colory dot, I kept falling, it only slowed me down. I thought it was some weird liquid I fell in. And while shaking I put my tongue out and tasted it. It was like paradise and I started tripping... I didn't stop falling yet tho. Suddenly I fell out of the liquid and I saw myself falling down on the earth, but I was in space... So how the hell could I fall down? But I did fall down, it took ages, but when I finally hit the ground, all I heard was a big crack, a very high and an annoying beep, and I didn't feel anything anymore. I heard people coming, but I couldn't see them. Was I blind? I didn't know... All I know is that I was away for years and years... But I didn't realise it. It felt like I was only 5 minutes away. When I woke up, I tried to open my eyes, but everything around me felt cold and hard. I think I was frozen in... I started to panic, but I couldn't do anything! ANYTHING! I wanted to scream, but my mouth wouldn't get open. I wanted to commit suicide, but I couldn't... Because I couldn't move... That way I have sat there for 40 days, slowly pooring a little bit liquid from the ice trough my lips, but I didn't eat... And everything went black again. And I never woke up. I was walking around in a big white void for millions of years, without any food. But then... The unexpected happened. I woke up, and saw everyone around me laughing... It seemed like I was in somekind of television show. Behind me was Dr. Phil, and it seemed he tried out somekind of weird machine, which he tried to manipulate people with. But it didn't work for me. I ran away, and I didn't remember anything of my life on earth... I didn't even know my name, or my birthday... But then I saw it. Everywhere... They were everywhere.... Females, Males... Kids, all with Dr. Phil heads. It came to my attention, he took over the world. I know I couldn't live like that, so I ran into a high building, while still panicing... And when I reached the roof, I jumped.
I felt like a bird, flying, in peace... I tasted the beauty of life! But it was too late. I didn't even feel it, but I was gone.

Story told to me by Elmo.javascript:NewsPosts.GetPost(121 052).SaveComment();
He contacted me from the spirit world.

:3 Weird or not?

One day, Postman Pat was walking down to the rubber monkey liver store. It was a scrumptiously beautiful day - the sun was high on crack, the birds were horny and the trees were playing saxophones made from old rusty Terminators. Suddenly, a gigantic purple chicken came flying through the air on a magic carpet shaped like a penis and landed in front of him.
"Why is thy pie so dry? My pie cries for fire in the TV whenever the book-rapers come searching for their Jesus Juice!" it said, brandishing a cigar in one wing and a pair of knickers in the other.
Pat ran away and tried to find his van. However, he had forgotten where he had parked it and dozens of Michael Jacksons started parachuting down, trying to rape him with bright pink calculators. Using his washing machine of doom, Pat ploughed his way through the Michael Jacksons and eventually found his van in an old haunted brothel. After raping every mirror in the place in order to destroy the phantom hookers, he got into his van and drove off. The Arbiter was sitting in the back, wearing a wedding dress and eating a Happy Meal. However, the Teletubbies started chasing after them in a huge lorry. The Arbiter threw Happy Meals and wooden spoons at them while Pat tried to shake them off. Despite the amazing speed of Pat's jet-powered van, the Teletubbies had no problem keeping up - they had tubes up their arses that led to and stuck out the back of the lorry, allowing them to boost by farting. Pat drove off a bridge in an attempt to escape. However, instead of hitting the water, his van went right through it and the bottom and landed in another dimension. They were in a large room with lime green wallpaper and paintings of leprechauns having sex all over the walls. The floor was made out of the skulls of cows and the ceiling was made out of jelly. An old man wearing a rainbow-coloured suit, clown shoes and a cowboy hat that had the words 'Support our poops' written on it came in and gave them some Happy Juice.
"What's brown, horny and delicious?" he asked.
"My arse?" suggested the Arbiter. The old man nodded, then stripped down to his women's underwear and danced for 7 hours while Pat and Ol' Arby had a barbecue. Suddenly, Britney Spears came along and turned into a huge evil fridge. The old man died 3 times then made some tea while our heroes raped the evil fridge. Just as they had finished, the fridge imploded and the room disappeared. They fell through darkness for several hours before finding themselves in a porno shop filled with crazy old women. Before the shop owner could sell them any car insurance, they ran off down the seemingly endless corridors. There were posters on the walls which said things like 'Brush your bum at least 60 times a day!' and 'A bladder a day keeps the nipples away!' and 'Look before you rape a bowl of soup and end up having to steal underwear from Japanese businessmen for Granny Jenkins for the next 50 years!' They eventually found a couple of mops which they used to fly away. The mops turned into snakes and they fell down into another room like the one with the old man, only this one had yellow wallpaper. In it, there was a vortex back to their own dimension. Before they could reach it, however, a horny lamp post appeared out of thin air and told them that they must win a challenge before they could use the vortex. If they could give birth enough times before the cheese monkeys destroyed a large statue of Rocky Balboa in the nude using sacks filled with bear testicles, they could go home. If they lost, however, they would become the lamp post's servants and be forced to dress up in big pineapple suits everyday and serve elephant anus-flavoured yoghurt to constipated rubber chickens. After many long, gruelling births, our heroes finally won the challenge and went back to their own dimension, where they invited Fireman Sam over and ate Mexican food while throwing towels at passing ice cream vans. But little did they know that the giant purple chicken was still watching them from a nearby roof...Waiting for his opportunity to strike and have his revenge and prove once and for all that - oh, wait, he fell.
THE END
Or is it? *Evil fart*
Uh, I mean, evil laugh... >_>
Now, wasn't that fun boys and girls?

ONCE UPON A TIME THERE WAS ME. I LIKE CAPS LOCK ok no more caps lock. Anyway, I made a snadwich which killed half the human population. Then the doctor said " IT IS NOW TIIIIMMMMEEE TO RUMBLE I MEAN ITS time for your medication. So I kicked him in the face and ran off a cliff. I fell on the retardo-sphere, which was actually a helicopter, so the rotor cut me up into a bajilion little pieces. Then Superman revived me by spinnin the Earth, and I kicked him in the arm and ran away. then I went home and went ot sleep at midnight because I was friggin tired. THE END

k thx for the feedback n' stuff. and yeah, even though ive never even read any of the warcraft universe books, it probably is pretty identical.

hey, he says he has another part of the story. i dont know what it'll do though, since im not sure if you can continue it, but if you want to hear it i can paste it over here later. just asking on account of the story thing. [oh and just incase you dont he'll totally understand, i can send it to someone else and he wont even have to know xD]

The Green Blue was Black said Massisy Landonjks I replied with a slap saying...the power is within dont lose this power...for it is power of PINK!!! wow he said i like phones...i can call my mothers mothers uncles sisters dads dads dads son in law...i said...no he is gay HE SCREAMED AT ME AND THEN CUT HIS DICK OFF! SO THEN I PUT IT IN MY MOUTH AND SUCKED TILL MY MOUTH CAME OFF...THEN HE SHIT IN MY MOUTH ON THE FLOOR SO THEN STUCK IT UP MY BLACK AND YELLOW HORSE ASS...WHICH HE LICKED SO MUCH HIS TOUNGE FELL IN SO HE PUT HIS HAND IN THERE WHICH CAME IN TO MY STOMACH AND BURNT HIS ANT HAND...YES HE HAS A HAND OF A ANT...SO AFTER THIS MY MOTHER samnfefs cunt-tey-doo JUST SAID LETS ALL GO TO THE FUCK BUNKER AND HAVE INCEST WITH UNCLE WANK AND AUNTY POO SO WE ALL WENT THERE AND HAD I NICE LITTLE FUCK IN MY BUM HOLE WHICH HAD SHIT EVERYWHERE BECAUSE THIS IS MY ASS REMEMBER FLY TO VENUS UNCLE WANK SAID TO MUMMY SO MUMMY STUCK HIS BRAIN UP HER VAGINA AND THEN FOUND AUNTY POO.S TITS CUT THEM OFF THEN ATE THE BROWN BASTARDS SO THEY EXPLODED DUE TO THE TIME MELECUCULAR STRUCTURE OF THE UNIVERSE THUS ENDING THE STORY

so then i came along and said.................

BEST DAY EVER

True Story

nvm its ok i sent it to someone else xD.
your lucky, i saved you like 4 paragraphs of reading :P. (i hate reading btw, unless its miscellanious internet chatting stuff, i normally dont have the patience D:)

I've read all these stories! they're really weird! I have no chance.

When do you decide who wins?

OK, I'll make a sequel if I get the time...

im gonna advertise your competition on my site :).
i wanna hear more stories too.

SEQUEL MOTHER FUCKERS

THUS THE UNIVERSE IS IN A DELICATE COW MOO MOO BALANCE BALENCE BALENCE....I SHOULD STOP REPEATING MY SELF ANYWAYS THE POWER OF PINK WAS FLOWING THOUGH MY VEINS SO I SHIT OUT A NUMBER 7 WHICH ATE A CHEESEBURGER TOM FULP SUDDENLY SAID ORGYYY!! SO THE SUN FUCKED THE MOON AND THE MOON SAID "PENIS TIME!!!" SO EVERYONE WENT TO MACDONALDS AND ASKED FOR A WIMPY BURGER THE MAN AT THE FRONT OF THE LINE SQUEZZED A ZILLION SPOTS AND THE PUSS FLEW INTO MY MOUTH AND I TURNED INTO A FAT BASTARD NAMED MIKE HUNT (SAY IT QUICKLY LOL) THE KING OF THE UNIVERSE PHIL MCKRAKIN SAID "HEY YOU GOT THAT FINE ASS JTM17 LET ME TAP THAT SHIT MOTHAFUCKER POO WANK POO" OH OK I SAID AND I CUT HIS BALLS OF WHICH BLEED ORANGE DUCKS WHO COULD SPEAK HEBREW SO WE ALL DANCED TO THE MASHKA DASHKA AND HAD DINNER AT SUPER-PINAPPLES...PINEAPPLE FOR STARTER LUNCH AND DINNER THEN WENT TO BED IN THE YEAR 6984569045609346873569873459873450873 4508765874369875695693850982509837469 0834608459067856094860945609756

lovley

BTW i am not weird i just have an warped imagination...can you give us a date for the winner will there be a prize LOL

Cheers

jtm17

You are so fucking stupid.
Take the fucking keyboard out of your ass and learn to type, fuck head.

i know ppl hate when i post short little things but
this one time at band camp......i saw my friend **** her *** brother
lol not really that would be weired *-*

This is the sequel to my last one. If you haven't read the first, don't worry, the German government won't make your granny fund Germany's hospitals for the rest of her life or make your cousin take photos of man boobs for 10 years instead of going to Uni.
"BEEP BEEP. BEEP BEEP." shouted the alarm clock. Pat aimed his bum at the clock
and a gun barrel came out his anus and shot the clock. He got dressed, died 16 times, raped 3 children, wrote a book on lesbian trees, became the President of Albania and then got up. Or did he get down? No one really knows. All they will tell you is that for breakfast he had Cunt Flakes, horse semen on toast and a large spicy slice of crapfruit. He looked out of the window and lo and behold, he looked out of the window. The phone came into the room and said: "Patty boy, there's a tasty munchkin calling you who needs help wonging his mitten kitten cable." Pat transformed into his super banana peel form and flew into the air, where the sky smoked its pipe and told Pat old tales of the sea involving pregnancy tests and boats shaped like penises that doubled as can openers. He arrived at the scene of the crime in a time of red painted dog huts, so much so that when he bent over, King Potato gave AIDS to 3 children.
Blood was everywhere and just as Pat put the kettle on, Granny Jenkins came by and told him to pink his stink before she drives the spoon of doom off Diarrhoea Gorge. But Pat did not buy her story - if those kids were really on holiday, why were they all wearing T-shirts that said 'I did not rape the Queen'? Pat sat on a cat and shat a hat while thinking of a way to resolve this economic crisis. But as he did so, he sat on a cat and shat a hat while thinking of a way to resolve this economic crisis. But as he did so, 3 men appeared and stole his bladder. Fuming, he tried to phone home, but E.T raped him for stealing his idea.
"E.T fuck you!" he said. But Pat had a few tricks up his sleeve. And a few rubber ducks up his anus. But that's another story, and we really must get back to that pet shop run by the creepy-looking lesbian old ladies before the clock goes to ZERO, oh no, the children do not like my pie-shaped anal sponge! Deploy the He Men! Oh, wait, Hitler has piles. Guess that means we'll never be able to tell who's what and what is which and where is how and why's when and which is where and how is who and 2 + 2 = 4 until the dildos of the United Plates of America actually learn the proper name of their country. But that will never happen, as it goes against their religion to use the letter 'S' more than once in a name or sentence and so Pat sat and shat his hat while trouble was brewing in the clouds above. And to the side. Suddenly *dramatic music* a dozen evil horny followers of Emperor Von Anus Licker armed with pink pooper scoopers appeared! Pat killed them all by throwing psychopathic sheep at them. Blood and guts flew everywhere. Nicolas Cage got hit by a liver in the arse and then he and all the children started throwing body bits at each other. But then all the children randomly died, Cage ran away to the Japanese Embassy and the only people left in the room without a boner were the constipated fridge men. They chanted angrily until the ground started farting and then they raped every fast food restaurant in the world. But then Ronald McDonald got horny and started raping Buckingham Palace. He cummed, and out flew red and yellow stars and rainbows and little green pig men and all kinds of psychedelic shit. But Mr Blobby did a jobby and Harry Potter had no choice but to sell the Clock of Rice-Flavoured Vaginas to Dumbledore, who jumped up and down, covering Michael Jackson in pish. The Arbiter had had enough. He took out his power sword and rammed it up Barney the Dinosaur's anus. Barney started laughing, his voice rising in pitch until he was screeching and then imploded. With their evil paedophile master destroyed, the Barney kids were free. But the Arbiter killed them anyway, pinning the girls to the ground and raping them while he fired monkey testicles at the boys. When he'd finished with the girls, he sat on their heads and farted on them, reducing their heads to a foul-smelling, bubbling goop that owns its own gym down in London. Arby looked at the bodies and said: "You may fuck our wives, but you'll never fuck our arses!" And with that, he was gone, off to Jamaica to relax by the beach and rape palm trees for 3 weeks. Now that most of Earth was either dead, horny or being raped, Pat went home. And then he went home. And then he did it again. Livers lined the walls, blood dripped upwards from the floor for some reason and the washing machine was making sweet love to the dishwasher while Sylar raped the fridge, but other than that, everything was just so perfect that Pat smiled such a big smile that his face raped and Fireman Sam had to perform emergency knee surgery to sort it. Which actually worked, somehow. And so our heroes rested, ready for another day of violence, sex and everything else that our kids are not trained for in nursery school (or kindergarten or whatever your country calls it). And so, the moral of the story is - WUB WUB CHUB CHUB RUBBA-DUB-DUB 6 GAYS IN A TUB AND 7 LESBIANS ON THE ROOF OF THE MEXICAN EMBASSY IN SOME COUNTRY MAKING BIRTHDAY CARDS FOR HORNY SHEEP.
The end.

Once upon a time, there was a Canadian Ninja Squirrel Named Jingersplat McSmellyBarfBarf.
He was sad because Chuck Norris was going to blow up Uranus, destroying his fried chicken.
A penguin crapped out a rainbow and everyone was happy.
THE END.

I'll make my story later. Check out my page. (I'm talking to super-pineapple, not trying to encourage more people to come to my page.)

Boxed nuggets. Joy in a box. I love the texture,the taste. Fry it, heaven is reached. Type of meat: Chicken. Artificial food products are a gift. Augmented natural food. Chemicals that are bad for the masses. Chemicals that open doors to all sorts of crazy shit.

Hey remember Brawl comes out on the 26th of June :D (for Australia). 27th of June for Europe :P

Dude have you seen this flash yet?! http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view /439133... it's your kind of flash man!